Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have post one night stand depression
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