$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
