We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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