I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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