True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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