There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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