Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
