I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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