Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
