Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
