the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
