mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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