She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think im in europe. pls send help
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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