Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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