In the future we'll all be gay
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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