there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
