your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He felt like a one man threesome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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