Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
