Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
