dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
