I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
