If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
