Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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