Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
