Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
