you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
