I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
