someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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