Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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