That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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