Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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