What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's just like the Real World with babies
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A bitchslap is in order.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize