your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
