I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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