can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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