Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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