I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
