Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
