i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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