He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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