you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm at about main and main street
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize