I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
