The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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