I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
