Me too!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
