Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am available for nakedness
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
