he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize