I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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