Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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