There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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