I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
