I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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