"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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