the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
