A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
