Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
