she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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