Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
