woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize