i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
