I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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